Ill never forget you
and how I loved you
I will never forget how we laughed
and fought
the madness
the sadness forgot
I will never forget the small
things you did
when you loved me way back then
I’ll never forget when you loved me
though the days were too few
I will always and forever wish you still loved me
too
and I’ll never forget you
that boy from A small town
who used to make me cry
and smile
I loved you then
as I love you now
though you left me,
lonely
sometimes I wish you could feel the pain
and loss
like I do tonight
and I remember the guy
who never said goodbye….
pyschic readings by me
Please Vote for my baby cousin
http://wkyt.upickem.net/engine/Details.aspx?p=V&c=92902&s=35745455&i=1&sort=SORTORDER#SD
Can you all please vote for my baby cousin June in Kentucky she is in a baby contest her mommy is so proud of her this is the link thank you all
Malley and Mick
Malley and Mick went to school together. He was nervous in art class and wore a denim jacket. He was tall and then with white blonde hair bleached by the sun. Malley had a brief crush on him and he sat behind her in Homec and told her that she had chicken legs. She dreamt of him many times over the years. They would make love in the dreams. She would wake up and wonder why on earth was he on her mind. People back home in Kentucky said he was doing drugs or drunk or both. She was shocked one day when he sent her a note on Facebook and asked how she had been. She told him about the dreams and he told her he had similar ones. They started talking on the phone and on skype. She was hurting over her middle eastern crushes who would break her heart for their religion or suddenly leaving her to marry another virgin bride. So Malley and Mick became friends. Sometimes, Mick seemed stoned because he would seem angry with her for no reason. One night he was playing the electric guitar loudly on skype and Malley asked him had he taken anything. He said he had quit doing anything and one night on the phone he said “I love you Malley” and she had tears roll down her cheeks. Malley had seen different parts of the world ,but part of her longed for the love of a Kentucky boy. She had never gotten that except for Sammie who had turned out to be gay. That had always hurt her she had felt as if she had been a joke. So Mick told her to come see him next time she came back down home. Malley thought of Mick kissing her and it made her heart skip, but one day Mick got arrested for disorderly conduct and people back home were telling Malley all about it and then some. She had sent him emails at first telling him she loved him, but as time went by she knew Mick was not good for her and she instead lit and candle and prayed for him. They had thrown him in jail because it was rumored he had punched the cop who arrested him. Malley also recalled how in one of his “episodes” he called her a “moron.” which had hurt her deeply. So she went about life as usual and when she went to Kentucky she never saw Mick she hadn’t seen him since 1989 except for Skype. Christmas came and went and she wondered if she should send him a card, but she heard he was still in jail. It was so long to be in jail just for hitting a cop, but then again he said he hadn’t hit anyone. Malley was going through her emails when she saw Mick had sent her a message that he was out of jail and hoping she was doing alright. She wrote him and they ended up on Skype. She could hardly see him on his blurry webcam. “What did you hear about me Malley?” He drawled. He sounded like Jeff Foxworthy the way he talked. “I heard a lot.” She said. She was sitting in the dark with the light from the computer shining on her like a spotlight. She was wearing a long black wig and her pale skin looked lovely. Mick loved her, but that was old news. “I didn’t hit nobody.” He said and Malley leaned forward to look into the camera dramatically. “Well, the best thing for you is to get healthy I would rather here of you in Jail than in the Funeral home.” She said. “Yeah, that’s true I reckon.” Then there was a long pause. “Malley do you still love me?” He asked. and he stopped rocking back and fourth in his chair which was his habit. “Yes, I will always love you we grew up together.” She said and she turned her head. “Malley what if I wasn’t in trouble and I could stay clean.” He asked her. She smiled. “I love you either way, but I am married and besides that you know I always have my internet crushes.” He laughed loudly then. “You like fancy that’s for sure.”Malley sat back in her chair and she wondered if she would cry. “You know what we have Chemistry that is off the charts.” Mick said and he lit a cigrette. “I hate when you smoke it’s gross.” She said and she turned her head. “I quit when I was in jail.” He boasted. “Well, do it again.” She stood up and said goodnite to him and turned the computer off. She wasn’t going to get close to Mick again, because there was no use in it. She remembered when he wasn’t well and how it had worried her so much.The next day Mick wrote to her and said he had written a sexy poem on Facebook. She read it and blushed furiously. “Who is that about?” She kept asking, but he hadn’t answered and she got bored and walked off. She decided to go home to see her mother for Mother’s day. She told Mick that she wouldn’t be seeing him. She landed in Kentucky alone without her kids or husband. She had her friend Kayla pick her up because she was afraid to drive in Kentucky. Kayla seemed to be nervous around Malley. “You sure dress up pretty Malley.” Kayla said as they were driving away from the small airport. “It’s not fancy Kayla, just a sundress.” She didn’t understand why people back home tried to act like she was a princess. She had always been different anyway.
To be continued
My long hair so hot !!
When I say hot I do mean as in 20 degrees hotter than I would be without my long, beautiful not DNA grown hair on my head. I love one of my wigs it is so full and bouncy and I feel so beautiful when I wear it. I want you girls to know out there it really is okay to wear a wig or what I call “Fun hair.” I have always admired women who can pull on a wig and not care what people might say. My attitude changed so much when I started wearing long hair because I never had it.I have always compulsively cut my hair since I was a child. I hated my hair though people claimed it was thick. It was flat, no waves, no curls and I wish I had the same hair as I did before I got tossed into so many medications. I haven’t held a curling iron in so long. I can relate to people with hair loss I know how much a difference it makes to have a lovely head of hair instead of just a headache.
Not Going to See Beloved
I am not going to see Beloved
The one who held me near
For such a short time
I canceled plane tickets
3 times
and my eyes filled with tears
My husband was happy
that I would stay at home
but the truth is I wanted to
see Beloved
in Agadir
I am a giver
I have always given what I could to my friends. People would come visit me and I would run and look for gifts to give. I was overcome with happiness to have people around me. My uncle James in kentucky who is almost 70 (God can’t believe it) has always given people vegtables from his garden. He will go and get a bunch of fresh corn on the cob, beans or tomatoes and hand them to whomever has came to my Granny’s house to visit. He will open the big deep freezer and dig out food that he has carefully frozen and say , “Take this home and make yourself a good mess of beans.” I always want to try to give some little something if I can. I make earrings and I will give a pair away. I think the Universe appreciates that kind of thing.
Self Absorbed is it better than drowning in doubt?
Sometimes, I am self absorbed. It comes from being alone many times in my life. When I am in a playful mood all I want to do is take photos and feel good about myself. I spent most of my life not feeling good. I was sick in my twenties, somedays I could hardly move from the couch to take care of my kids because of anemia. I post pics on FB and Instagram. I want people to see me, because I am tired of the invisiblity. I want people to think that girl has pretty eyes or that girl did a good job in makeup.There are many women who will never get out of jogging pants and try to look good. I am not talking bad about them. I am just saying that I like that “Prom” feeling. When I was younger I only felt beautiful at the prom, at my wedding in India I was too nervous to feel pretty. I had only carried with me a bottle of foundation, and a lipstick in a zip lock bag. I had gotten married just so I wasn’t just “living” with my husband and people would accept us more. I don’t think I was ready for marriage. I was just this scared 23 year old kid who had never dated anyone but a guy who turned out to be gay. I was in a rush to prove I was loved and I was in love. I often wish I could have a wedding that I knew that this was what I wanted, and I would have lace, and flowers and music. I am not saying my Bombay wedding with the colors, temple music wasn’t beautiful it’s just that that girl has grown up and sadly left the temple far away, she often wants to return, but the smoke burns her eyes.
If it had been okay to be big in the 70’s , 80’s 90’s
I wonder if life had been more like it is now for me if I would have been a happier , more confident, kid, teenager and young adult. I remember thinking I had like a curse on me because I was bigger. I remember feeling as if I was an odd creature as a kid when they ordered me “big girl jeans” from Sears. I felt bigger than I was as if I was taking up everyone’s air. My Papaw could be harsh, he called me , “Lard ass” one day when I was standing in front in the Television he said “Sit your lard ass down.” This still hurts me till this day I can feel the pain in me. He called a 12 year old girl a “lard ass.” He passed away and I loved him he was the only grandpa I had, but it’s hard to think back to this. My mom never liked her body I am sure her father must have called her names too and we should not talk about people who went to heaven and stuff, but let’s do it anyway. Mom was always trying to eat a ton of salad or take exlax or she would over do it and make cakes or big pans of peanut butter fudge.Mom had a low self esteem and she was beautiful till this day she talks bad about bigger people and says “I hate being fat don’t you?” I said “No, Mom I love myself.” The last couple of years I changed. I had a hysterectomy and I appreciated my body. I may never be thin, but I know I am not a monster being a bigger woman. I have had men fall in love with me, they said I was beautiful of course being married I couldn’t run off with them *Yet lol. But they liked my spunk online and I always try to motivate women to feel beautiful a size 2 or 22. I don’t want people wasting time feeling bad as if their body is a burden it truly is a gift GOD Bless them all !!!!
To Love Me
To Love me is easy
My mother did it first
then a boy who didn’t know
his way
who will never speak to me again
runs away from his birth name
Then a young, confident groom
and others began to claim
they loved me when tears fell
on the floor
they scattered, the men like
broken glass some stayed intact
like the titanic on the ocean floor
to love me will not make you
drown however,
it may save your life.
Margo's Mirror 
